


wen he was 19 n in jail (CCG Group Chat)

by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory



Series: TG Prompt Collection [5]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Arima can't spell, Crack, Everyone has pun names, Gen, Marude is drunk, Prompt Fic, The CCG has a group chat, Ui hates everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory/pseuds/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory
Summary: Anon: are you accepting prompts? becuse i was just thinking about drunk marude making a group chat with all the special classes. hilarity ensues.(This is seen through Hirako's phone while he's ignoring all of them and trying to get some sleep)Y'all can prompt me @ purgatoryandme.tumblr.com and see answered requests under the tag "drabbles".





	

**[Marude-cycle] @ 12:02 am:** Why don’t we have a gorup chat.   
**[Marude-cycle]** : Do we all not like each other ??  
**[Marude-cycle]** : cuz I dont like you BUT…I am WILLING to do this for TEAM BONDING  
**[Marude-cycle]:** itsss not becaz Im lonely!

  
_***Seen by [Mustache-Mougan] @ 12:07 am**_  
  
**[Marude-cycle] @ 12:07 am:** CAUGHT YOU  
**[Marude-cycle]:** WE ARE FRIENDS IRGHT MOUGA?  
**[Marude-cycle]:** lol mouga  
  
_***Seen by [Mustache-Mougan, ‘You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima, and Sasabanana] @ 12:30 am**_  
  
**[Sasabanana] @ 12:30 am:** Guys, don’t ignore Marude-san  
**[Sasabanana]:** It’s Ma-rude #lmao   
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has left the group chat**_  
  
**[Sasabanana]:** Don’t be like that Ui-senpai!  
  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] @ 12:40am:** Y is Haise crying?  
**[Marude-cycle]:** Hess is always cryibg!  
**[Marude-cycle]:** he isnt funny n it makes him sad   
**[Marude-cycle]:** sa-sad-ki  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** >:(  
**[Sasabanana]:** good one Marude-san!   
**[Sasabanana]:** wait…  
**[Sasabanana]:** are you drunk?   
  
**_*Seen by [Marude-cycle, ‘You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima, Aura-of-Beauty]_**  
  
**[Sasabanana] @ 12:49 am:** Marude-san, I know you saw my message!   
**[Sasabanana]:** Honestly, you need to take better care of yourself. I’ll bring you a hangover cure in the office tomorrow. I hope you are getting a good nights sleep!  
**[Sasabanana]:** Oh geez, I hope you remember to drink enough water before sleeping.  
**[Sasabanana]:** and remember to eat!  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]** : ppl who get hangovers deserve them son  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** they r weak  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** we need to weed out the weak  
**[Sasabanana]:** Arima-san! Don’t say something like that! Marude-san might be weak to alcohol, but he’s not weak overall.   
**[Sasabanana]:** What if he sees this in the morning and it hurts his feelings?  
**[Child-Menace]** : good :^)   
**[Sasabanana]:** Juuzou! It’s past your bedtime!  
**[Child-Menace]:** :^^)   
  
**_*[Hand-Bees] was added to the conversation_**  
  
**[Child-Menace] @ 12:55 am:** >:^(   
**[Hand-Bees]:** sir, you will be grouchy in the morning if you don’t get enough sleep  
**[Hand-Bees]:** your incredibly loud typing is also keeping us all awake  
**[Hand-Bees]:** it’s impressive really  
**[Hand-Bees]:** I never knew human hands could move so quickly or viciously without breaking a keyboard  
**[Child-Menace]:** …  
**[Sasabanana]:** Hanbee…you know that the keyboard won’t work in the morning  
**[Sasabanana]:** Either he’s already typed it into oblivion   
**[Child-Menace]** : :^)   
**[Sasabanana]:** Or he’s spilt something sticky on it. Stop giving him dessert past midnight, Hanbee.  
**[Child-Menace]** : >:^(  
  
_***Seen by [Child-Menace, Hand-Bees, ‘You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has been added to the group chat**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has left the group chat**_

 _ ***[Chain-smoking-baby] has been added to the group chat**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has left the group chat**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has been added to the group chat**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has left the group chat**_  
  
**[Sasabanana] @ 1:07am:** Hanbee. Pick up your phone.  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has been added to the group chat**_  
  
_***[Chain-smoking-baby] has left the group chat**_  
  
_***[Child-Menace] has left the group chat**_  
  
**[Hand-Bees] @ 1:10 am:** I finally got him to go to bed. I’m so sorry, Investigator Sasaki. Please don’t stop storing snacks in your pockets, my squad leader doesn’t require a ‘time-out’ or any other form of punishment. I promise he’ll be mature.   
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** y does he get snacks?  
**[Sasabanana]:** I believe you, Hanbee  
**[Sasabanana]:** I hate being strict with Juuzou but Ui-senpai called me   
**[Sasabanana]:** he said he’d start spiking my coffee in the mornings if I didn’t let him get some sleep  
**[Sasabanana]:** Did you want snacks too, Arima-san?  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** <3   
  
_***[Hand-Bees] has left the group chat**_  
  
_***[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] has changed the group photo to haise.jpg**_  
  
_***[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] has changed the group name to ‘haise’s snacks are mine’**_  
  
**[Aura-of-Beauty] @ 1:15 am:** why is Haise covered in bandages in that photo?  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** ths r his bb photos   
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** wen he was just 19 n in jail  
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** I…see.  
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** Do you know what babies look like, Arima?  
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** Actual children, I mean.  
  
_***[Aura-of-Beauty] sent shinsanpei-crying-about-ducks.jpg**_  
  
_***[Aura-of-Beauty] sent shinkun-in-the-tub.jpg**_  
  
_***[Aura-of-Beauty] sent shinkun-covered-in-cake.jpg**_  
  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** ive got sum haise pics like that  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** wanna c?   
  
_***[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] was removed from the group chat by [Sasabanana]**_  
  
**[Sasabanana] @ 1:24:** tell me he can’t see that I booted him  
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** I wanted to see those photos ;)   
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** Shin-kun respects you a lot even though you left the Qs :)  
**[Aura-of-Beauty]:** I’m sure he’d love to see your baby photos :)  
  
_***[Aura-of-Beauty] was removed from the group chat by [Sasabanana]**_  
  
**[Mat-surly Washuu]** @ 1:25: those photos are CCG property Sasaki  
**[Mat-surly Washuu]:** which means that I’ll be…retrieving them  
**[Mat-surly Washuu]:** for personal use  
  
_***[Mat-surly Washuu] has been removed from the group chat by [Sasabanana]**_  
  
**[Sasabanana] @ 1:25:** I’m gonna die-se.  
**[Sasabanana]:** This is the end.   
**[Sasabanana]:** Marude, you’d better take care of my kids when I’m dead!!  
**[Houji]:** do you actually trust him with children?  
**[Sasabanana]:** …  
**[Sasabanana]:** shit  
  
_***[Houji] changed the group photo to sasaki-swore.jpg**_  
  
_***[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] was added to the group chat by [Houji]**_  
  
**[Houji] @ 12:30:** you can’t run away from your problems, Sasaki  
**[Houji]:** you know your father wouldn’t approve of language like that  
**[Sasabanana]:** i can try. I am a master of distraction!  
**[Sasabanana]:** Arima-san, Matsuri said he had to use your photos of me for personal use   
**[Sasabanana]:** I’m pretty sure he thinks they’d be HANDY to have ;)   
**[Sasabanana]:** he wants to MASTER the art of photography ;)  
**[Sasabanana]:** he’ll COME to get them himself ;)   
  
_***Seen by [’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima, Houji] @ 12:32 am**_  
  
[M **ustache-Mougan] @ 4:00 am:** Hello my friends!  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** I accidentally broke my phone earlier!  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** I was too excited about speaking to you all and embraced my phone!  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** I miss my Nokia…it understood the PASSION in my SOUL, booooyyyyy.   
[ **Mustache-Mougan]:** My wife loaned me her phone, but these cat videos were distracting!  
[M **ustache-Mougan]:** I’ll send them over!!  
  
**_*[Mustache-Mougan] attached 10938457 files_**  
  
**_*[Mustache-Mougan] sent files @ 6:01 am_**  
  
**[Mustache-Mougan] @ 6:01 am:** Join me for a run around the office!  
  
**[Mustache-Mougan] @ 6:15 am:** Oh…ok. I will run alone! Sleep soundly, my friends!   
  
_***Seen by [Queen-Akira] @ 6:20 am**_  
  
**[Mustache-Mougan] @ 6:43 am:** Matsuri! I see you are in your office! Why won’t you open the door and run with me!  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** I’ll even help you clean up the blood on the carpets!  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** We can attach mops to our feet and SKKKKAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE  
**[Mustache-Mougan]:** M’BOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY  
  
_***Seen by [’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima] @ 6:50 am**_  
  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]:** >:)  
  
**[Motorcycle-Marude] @ 7:00 am:** who carved ‘sa-sad-ki’ into my door with quinque steel?   
**[Motorcycle-Marude]:** and put a bunch of ugly centipede stickers on my motorcycle?  
**[Motorcycle-Marude]:** I know it was one of you.  
**[’You have 2 hands Hirako’ Arima]** : >:)


End file.
